Real Motivation

So I was in a bit of a funk, and angry at the Army. "How could you possibly be mad at the Army?", you might ask. Well I'll tell yah. (and by the way that is slang for 'you' not a funky spelling of the name of the most high, which I probably wouldn't write in a post anyway). So I have kids 3 of which have developmental issues (for those who don't know two of them have Asperger's, and one of them is high functioning autistic) The Army has programs for soldiers with children with developmental issues. However the Army Psych's will not admit that my children have developmental issues because then they have to allow them in their silly programs.

OK so just one thing right, of  course not. I have a father who's health is none to strong. he has suffered some three ( or is it four, I think I have honestly lost count) heart attacks and two strokes. the last of which left him with afaisia, efasia, whatever he can't talk coherently, and left half of his body nearly paralysed. My mother has been doing a praise worthy job in taking care of him, but to be honest she isn't getting any younger. ( this by the by is not a knock on my mothers health. That retired master sergeant could probably outrun and out push up most of the people that use blog spot.) The Army has a program (do you sense a pattern here?) where they can "compassionately reassign soldiers so that they can take care of ailing relatives. I applied for this and was told that my mother should be sufficient for his needs. Well because of the isolation my father was in (mom does have to work ya know) he has now had an emotional breakdown, and has been hospitalised.

Now my job in the Army is important (at least I think it is) and it is something of an advisory role. I literally am paid to think outside the box about the bad guys and make my observations known to the people who make the big decisions. However due to my rank (or lack their of) my observations are not viewed as being all that relevant... and these are decisions that could, and have put soldiers lives in  real danger. That is all I am going to say about that.

So I was thinking to my self as I power walked to work yesterday trying to get there on time; "why do I try so hard, when the Army does not reciprocate?" (Actually I didn't use the word reciprocate in my thoughts, but you get the point. It really starts to get to me as I continue to walk, and I can not think of a single reason to keep pushing. That is when the Lord brings to mind his words through Rav Shaul, "Servants, obey in all things [your] masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: And whatsoever ye do, do [it] heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ." (and yes I did think in KJV, thank you very much)

Thank you for reminding me Lord. I do not work for the Army, they just print out my paychecks. I am supposed to do whatever my hands find to do as though I am doing them for G-d. Try to remember that the next time your boss gets on your nerves. You don't work for them.

Side Note: Samson Raphael Hirsch once wrote "the place where a child's soul breathes is holy ground". I know that some of my readers (or future readers as I ave two followers thus far) are home schoolers. I want you to know, if you didn't already that you are fulfilling a mitzvot that is close and dear to G-ds heart. Do you realise that when G-d said "Shema Israel, Adonai Elohainu, Adonai Echad" in practically the same breath he said "And you shall teach them (Torah) diligently unto your children". You are fulfilling the will of G-d in a time when such a thing is frowned upon in our culture and I commend you for taking a stand. May the blessings of the most high be upon you.


Be blessed.

Rules

I had just finished a fine meal of steak and mushrooms with green beans and rice from the D-Fac (see previous post), and had decided to go out to the smoke shack for a cigarette before I resumed the work I had for the night (still have in fact as I am currently at work). Anyhoo I'm standing their enjoying my marlborough menthol light and there is this E6 in the smoke shack, and as soldiers are want to do while smoking we are engaged in some light conversation.

Somehow the topic of our dinner choices came up and I made mention of the fact that I couldnt have eaten the lobster tail they were serving tonight no matter how good it was due to it not being kosher (yes thats right every Sunday here at the FOB they serve steak and lobster to the Soldiers, Marines, Sailors, and Airmen, don't be jealous you havent tried it). Suddenly a light bulb goes of in this other soldiers head.

"Yah thats right, you ware that hat." (kippah are authorised to be worn in uniform under AR 670-1) "That makes you Jewish right?" I refrain from commenting that the wear of a hat in no way "makes" anyone anything. So, I say, "yah thats right". I find it far easier to tell people that I am Jewish, most people really don't want to get into the conversation of what makes someone Jewish and that I am a Torah observant Gentile who believes in Yeshua as the Meshiach. Long theological discussions are not commonplace in the armed services.

The next comment stumps me...I mean really, I lost the abuility to reply for like 30 seconds, and for those of you who know me that is saying something. "The only thing I know about Judaism is from that one actor." First off, that ONE Jewish actor...really? "You know that one comic actor who played a model. What was the name of that movie....oh yah Zoolander."....more stunned silence...All this man has learned about a religion with traditions going back some 6,000 years which arguably predates every other faith practiced today, he learned from Ben Stiller. Now I am in no way nocking Mr. Stiller or his outstanding body of work, but come on, he didn't even say Mel Brooks, or even Louis Black for crying out loud.

The next thing he says gets to the point of the post (I know, finally right?). "I sure am glad we Baptists don't have (wait for it) any rules, we just have to be baptised." "Really?" I reply "Just get dipped in water and your good to go huh?" (Yeah I said it, not proud now but I was thrown into a good amount of shock by the statement). His response? "Yeah well I mean you've got to believe, deep down in your heart."

I know from personal experience that Baptists have like a gajillian rules. And that is kind of the point. The Rabbi that got me started on my journey in the Torah, (Rabbi Ralph Messer, great Torah teacher, be warned however he is a Torah teacher not a pastor. He will not give you a nice 30 min message and send you on your way. He will build a case one brick at a time, and he will go back and check his work over, and over , and over again...you have been warned) once said that men who do not follow G-ds laws will make their own.

G-ds laws, his mitzvot, are infinitely better then anything that any man could ever design. He made us, and the rest of the universe. Who knows better then him how best to interact within this universe. Only Hashem is good, and therefore he is the only one able to teach us morality, he and no other. I realise the previous statement may have some MJ out their saying to themselves "Aha got him, figured him out this is a ka... a kar... (I can't even type the word) one of those people who believe in Torah alone and rejects the teachings of the sages". Nothing could be further from the truth. The Rabbi's are the descendants of the pharicees, and of them the Meshiach said "The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat: All therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, [that] observe and do."

I came across this statement while reading up on news about techelet (the blue strings made from the murex trunculus snail on the corners of the tallit) that gave me some insight into why G-d would give us a system of rules that would need studying.

"...the path toward religious perfection can permanently change a person only if it is truly a path. A sudden epiphany will overwhelm with a temporary intensity which disappears when the experience wanes. Proper religious growth only occurs in the context of slow and deliberate steps, each leading to higher and more meaningful levels of closeness to G-d. The absence of such careful movement and hard work will cause the experience of the divine to remain no more than an experience. The internalization of such an experience can only take place following a slow and painful - yet ultimately rewarding - process."

Wow that was a long post. Couldn't have done that on one leg, huh? Still, go study. Be blessed.

The Joker

"You don't think your existence you live it, the thoughts are a descriptive reflection. Lots of people believe things but do not act on them. Thus it's got to be a total package from will. If you really believe (from experience not rhetoric) , then you will have the discipline and self regulation to become the embodiment of those values."

From a post I found on the philosophy of the Joker from Batman. Yah, I really like the Joker. His philosophy used to really apeal to me before I discovered that the idea of "the Law" is a good thing. Complete lawlessness and a rejection of sociatal norms really is where a repudiation of G-ds law naturally leads when you take that philosophy to its conclusion. I digress... a lot.

OK, so this got me thinking on the concept of emunah (yah I got back to the point). Emunah translates as faith, but means far more then beliefe. It is faith filled, faith fueled action. Just recently my wife and I have been discussing changing our diet to more closely reflect a Rabbinic Kosher diet. Why is it that food is one of the places we resist change in the most? For crying out loud it's just food. My struggle  right now is that I am deployed to Afghanistan. No, it is not what you think.

You see while I am not deployed I eat in my house, at my table, the meals my wife cooks. No problem.

While I am deployed I eat at the Dining Facility, lovingly refered to as the D-Fac by military personel. In the D-Fac every morning they serve the most wonderfull food in the whole world. Creamed Beef. I would put this stuff in a cup and drink it if I didnt think it would make me sick. I particularly like it on my eggs and hashbrowns all siwrled up together.

Do you see the problem. For those of you reading who are'nt in the Know, here is the equation

meat/dairy + RAB Kosher = Naughty.

So please pray for me, because I have decided to eliminate this patern of eating from my life and the creamed beef still becons me from across the room.

Side note: I went to the D-Fac and made my self a sandwich, and a bowl of chicken noodle soup, when there was perfeclty good cream of broccoli soup sitting right next to it. ( I really do prefer cream of broccoli...yummy) Feeling triumphant I walked out of the D-Fac beeming, I was aglow in my spiritual triumph. Then I realised that I had put swiss cheese on my turkey sandwich. I swear to you, I could hear G-d laughing.